date; Thursday, August 2, 2007
quote mrs ng: 'you have to recharge,anyway,exercise more(are you psycho?),sleep more(no option there),rest(no option there)'
caution:extremely emo post,i'm sorry i have to be so emo and down and pissed off,but its better ranting it here then like at school or trainings or worse at my mom-who's so ignorant of how i'm feeling that every action is 'rude'. and you can't bloody hell be happy all the time,you know what,happy is what i hardly am,the smiles you see from me are fleeting.
i have spent the past half of the year staying up till midnight completing projects,homework,studying for tests(and doing fine in them),training 8 times a week,piano lessons,violin lessons,chinese tuition,math and science tuition-don't you think you should just cut me some slack,for once,i'm begging you.
and on top of this strenuous schedule,i'm a prefect.i don't know what was wrong with me when i accepted,i guess i wanted to be one.but this places an awful lot of pressure on me=i must complete all my tasks,i can't fall asleep in class,i have to be ultra attentive.
a certain person in my class:we can't do it,we're too busy.
you think you're busy? no way are you busy,i don't care if you dance everyday for one month cos of syf,i've been doing it the whole year and its extremely annoying you keep trying to worm out of the homework when i can do it.
so here's a clue:TAKE WHAT YOU GET AND STOP TRYING TO GET IT CUT DOWN ITS EXTREMELY EXTREMELY ANNOYING. I CANNOT STAND IT. COS IT WASTES: 1. The teacher's time. 2. My time.
3. The class' time.
i'm never this crazy in school,actually i can be-i almost broke down cos mrs ng was kinda talking about stuff that i was quite sensitive about. but i've only got me and my blog to rant and...be pissed off about.
i hate this,i really hate being so helpless. i hate being sad and angry but i can't help it.
maybe i should be less optimistic and bright and cheery in school-well thats what i'm trying to be, and be more neutral-so i won't feel so burned out.
i've still got a long way to run- Run, Collective Soul
i don't know how i'm gonna survive next year,sec 4,jc1,jc2,uni or the rest of my life, somehow i will.
cos life's like this you know
you take and you fall and break and you crawl
but you try to turn it into something good like
honesty.
this is the last time i will fall
into a place that fails us all
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